My Breast Cancer Journal
May 28 - June 3
Sunday, May 28, 2000
Having a miserable night. You can't see a time stamp on this so I'll tell you that it's about 4:30 am. Yesterday afternoon I laid down for a nap and when I got up, my temp was 100.9. I drank some Powerade to make sure I wasn't dehydrated, but the temp stayed up. Finally, after consulting with my mother via ICQ (what did we do before the Internet), I called the doctor. He's out of town so I got kicked to a different doctor taking the calls. It took him a while to call me back. Then he had to call my onco nurse. Then he called back and said that I was to go directly into the ER for bloodwork and a shot to boost the bone marrow. By the time we arrived at the ER, it was after 10pm. The temperature in the ER was positively arctic. By the time they got around to taking my temp, it was, of course, back down to normal. They took the blood and gave me the shot anyway, but there I sat worried about whether I had been over-reacting. Calling the doctor on a holiday weekend. Should have just toughed it out. We got home around midnight and I collapsed. Woke up at 4am to use the restroom and took my temp - 101.4. Oh sure. Now it goes back up. So I'm sitting here drinking fluids and trying to cool off. Maybe if I climb in the freezer I can replicate the conditions in that ER and get my temp back down....
Got my temp down and went back to sleep. Up again at 7:30 and the temp was 101.4 again. Got it down again, went back to sleep. The doctor called at about 9:30 and the temp was 100.2. He said he'll keep tabs on me over the weekend and that I should watch for any symptoms of infection. After he called, I got up to get some Powerade and got very dizzy. The good news is that my stomach feels much better today. Rick is fixing me one egg scrambled with toast.
The doctor called this morning to make sure that I hadn't developed any new symptoms. They are looking for symptoms of infection. I don't have any. Just the fever. It was 100.4 when he called. He told me to call him anytime throughout the weekend. Fortunately, my temp has been down for several hours now. Rick made some corn on the cob and I ate one. It took half an hour and I was completely exhausted when I finished it, but I ate it! I am actually feeling like I could eat some meat by tomorrow. After my triumph with the corn, I went out to work at my mailserver processing list administration commands. I was up there for about 10 minutes, the last 5 in a cold sweat. I cannot believe how wussy I am right now. Wussy but stubborn! I wandered into the bedroom and had to walk over 5 hairballs. It appears the cats took chemo with me or are having sympathy nausea. I weighed myself. Down 4 pounds since yesterday this time. Ordinarily I'd be ecstatic. Today, just tired.
From the "There's Got to be a Better Way" department: A Cure For Cancer? - (6/24/1999). This is, of course, years off. Sigh.
posted by Karen Weber Sunday, May 28, 2000
Monday, May 29, 2000
I'm having a bad time with gastric reflux, so I've been sleeping propped up on the couch. This morning, probably because of this, I had terrible spasms in my back while showering. It was just like someone had stuck a knife in me. I screamed so loudly that Rick came running from the other side of the house. The good news is that my temperature seems to have finally settled between 98 and 99. My stomach is a bit more unsettled today, but it's still early.
posted by Karen Weber Monday, May 29, 2000
Tuesday, May 30, 2000
I think at this point my stomach feels unsettled because it's very acid. I'm going to have to do some searching on how to deal with this. Last night I felt well enough that I had a small, very dry hamburger from McD's along with a few fries and a small shake. The hamburger didn't taste particularly good, but it wasn't repulsive either. So it appears that I will be able to resume a somewhat normal diet, if a little bland.We watched some good movies this weekend. Four for Texas was a disappointment. Rick had it confused with Texas Across the River, which he now says is the one I must see. Still, there was a good scene in there with the Three Stooges trying to figure out which way was "to the right." We also watched French Kiss, which was enjoyable and had a happy ending. But for laughs, I have to recommend two films. First, if you are a fan of the original Star Trek, you have to see Galaxy Quest. It is too funny! Second, if you were around in the Nixon era, you have to watch Dick. Very funny!
The great thing that happened yesterday is that my massage therapist called. I wasn't expecting to see her this week as her significant other just underwent total hip surgery and I thought he'd be coming home Monday. But he needs a few more days and she asked if she could come Monday. It was an answer to prayer and really helped out my back spasms. I slept in the waterbed last night and, although my back is still a little stiff, I'm a new person today.
I have to get myself in to see the surgeon today. I'm hoping I have the energy for it. I seem to break out in a sweat if I sit up too long. No episodes of feeling faint since the temp came back down, though, so I'm going to give it the old college try.
posted by Karen Weber Tuesday, May 30, 2000
Wednesday, May 31, 2000
Well, yesterday I got myself to the surgeon's office for a post-op follow-up and back home again. I was wiped out when I got home and took a 2 hour nap. Then my body got up while my brain continued to nap. It was the oddest thing. I just couldn't quite figure out.... anything. Once my brain woke up again, I felt pretty good. Tonight we are going to try going to the Mercury game. I would normally drive to Rick's office around 4:30, we'd go for dinner and then to the game. On the way home, we'd have to stop back at his office to pick up my car. We'd finally arrive home about 10:30. I think a 6 hour turnaround, with me needed to drive 20 minutes at the tail end is out of the question. Rick is going to come home, and we'll eat something here. Then he'll drive to the game. I can lie down in the car both ways. If it looks like I'm not going to make the entire game, we can always leave early. I'm going to give it the old college try. I'm looking for fun, and a Mercury game is, by definition, the most fun you can have and still be legal.
posted by Karen Weber Wednesday, May 31, 2000
Thursday, June 1, 2000
It didn't go as planned yesterday. Rick called at 2 and said he was in the neighborhood and could he come by and pick me up then. I should have said no. I tried to get across to him that I would need to lay down and he didn't understand why apparently. So he gave me a pretty lame story about a chair at his office that "reclines." I knew better, but I feel so guilty about how much time he's taken off of work that I let him talk me into it. The chair, of course, just tilts slightly. In terms of resting your heart, it's worthless. I laid down on the floor a bit and slept for about half an hour, but the floor was really hard. No pad under the carpet at all. Then we left for the game. At least the seat in the car reclines. I tried to get Rick to park in the lot right across the street, but he didn't get my point on that either and went on to our usual cheap parking lot. At least I talked him into parking close to the elevator rather than all the way across the lot where he usually likes to park.We ate at our favorite sandwich shop. Their lemonade, which is usually good, tasted like something you'd drain out of a car radiator to me. And there was something in the sauce, an herb I think, that tasted really sharp on my tongue. My taste buds have really changed. The good news is that fruits and vegetables taste really good to me. The melted cheese on the sandwich didn't repulse me like unmelted cheese or cream cheese do now. So I'm going to risk a vegetable pizza tonight.
We got to the arena at about 6:30. Tip off wasn't until 7:10. We stopped at guest services to check whether there was someplace I could rest if I needed to. By this time, I was very tired and had a whopper of a headache. I should have gone with them to the first aide station right then. But I didn't. I sent Rick to the team shops to buy me a couple of hats and I slowly walked to our seats where I fished out some pills for the headache and the nausea it was starting up. I didn't feel very well the first half of the game. With about 3 minutes left in the first half, I had our faithful usher, John, take me back to first aide. I laid down for about 45 minutes. The nurses back in first aide were really great. We got to talking about mammograms and what a wonder they are. One of the nurses said that on her last mammo, the tech got her completely squeezed and then said, "Whoops, I forgot to put the film in!" (At this point, the male nurse had had enough of mammo stories and got up and left.) Anyway, they were very nice and told me to come to all the games and feel free to come back and lay down whenever. I felt much better after lying down, and the headache finally went away.
I went back out to the game. The Mercury managed to pull it out in the last couple of minutes. The gal who has sat next to us "since time began" was very excited about the game. I didn't have the energy to be excited, I'm afraid. But I was glad to be there anyway. I feel a real need to do some "normal" things, and this is our favorite summer thing. There are two home games before my next chemo and I'll be stronger for them. The worst part of the day was walking up the stairs to get out of the arena. I was really winded. I sat down for a minute or two to get my breath back, but as soon as we started walking again, I was winded again. We made it about 1/4 of the way around the arena when the post-game interview started. So we went back in to the seats and sat down for several minutes to listen to that. Again when we started walking afterwards I was winded. Had to sit down once on the way to the car. Didn't have any trouble sleeping last night!
Went in to have blood drawn today. At first Joanie couldn't draw any blood out of the port, but she eventually got it. (NOTE TO MOM: Joanie collects unicorns.) After she drew the blood, she injected some saline. I got very lightheaded. I was surprised at how fast it happened. She said it was because it's cooler than the body and it goes almost directly into the heart. It doesn't happen to everyone, but it's not unusual. I put my feet up and chatted with the same gentleman who was there last week when I got rehydrated. He gets his chemotherapy every week for 4 weeks, then has 2 weeks off, then 4 more treatments. I don't think I could handle that! He doesn't get nauseated with his though. Different chemicals I guess. He said his brother had chemo a few years ago and had it every day for 7 days, then off for a few weeks, then another round, etc. He said he never would have gone for that schedule. I guess he was pretty sick with his treatments. Again, different chemicals.
posted by Karen Weber Thursday, June 1, 2000