How I Stay Joyful in Challenging Times
This is a testimony given by Karen Weber at MissionView Community Church in October, 2000
When you have cancer, support is very important. Others can listen, share burdens, pray, act as a sounding board, boost morale, and provide emotional support. But, no matter how much they would like, they cannot do certain things for you. During one night of vomiting, my mother said she wished that she could take the treatments for me. But, the cancer cells are in me, and so I must do the treatments myself, of course. And just like no one else can take the treatments for me, others cannot be joyful for me because joy is an inside job.
Joy is a choice that I must make "one day at a time," sometimes "one minute at a time". In order to stay joyful, there are two choices I make every day. I choose what I am going to focus on, and I choose what is going to be on my lips.
In order to start the day on a positive note, I read two things every morning: the funny pages and the Bible. When I finish my Bible reading, I reflect on how I can apply what I just read to my life. Because I'm a writer by trade and a little offbeat by nature, some of these reflections turn out to be quite interesting. Take, for instance, the story of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. Did you ever wonder about the last guy across? The mud and the animal dung he had to walk through? I did! I picture him as a distant cousin of Moses, someone known to be sure and steady, if a bit lacking in vision. His name was Mikhof, and he was just the sort of person you'd assign to bring up the rear of a large group and to make sure that all the stragglers stay with the group. Poor guy! Instead of being in the front of the group and seeing the miracle of the waters being parted, he was in the back rounding up goats and children. And when he finally made it across the Red Sea, instead of celebrating the miracle of being delivered out of slavery, he was looking down at his feet and saying, "Oh man! These sandals were brand new!"
After I stopped giggling at the mental picture of this poor soul, I realized that this was God's way of showing me how important my choice of focus is. Whenever possible I choose a Forward Focus. I believe that God has a plan for my life. I believe that it is important to be faithful to that plan by making every minute count. Just as the Israelites had the presence of the living God before them, leading them through impossible circumstances, I know I have the spirit of the living God in me, carrying me forward through impossible circumstances.
I would like to tell you that I am strong and courageous enough to maintain a forward focus all the time, but the truth is that there are days when I am too scared and overwhelmed to see past the day's problems. When that happens, I can use a Backward focus. Just as the Israelites could stand on the bank of the Red Sea, and look back to see God's miraculous deliverance, I can remember how God has delivered me from difficult times in the past. Having been through these experiences, I can believe that he will be faithful in this situation as well.
Regardless of where I choose to focus my vision, my feet must be planted in reality. If Mikhof didn't look down at his sandals at some point and take action to clean them off, his feet would have developed infected sores on his long journey in the desert. I can't ignore the reality of cancer - and most days it would not even be possible if I wanted to do so. But I can choose what's on my lips.
When I had my abnormal mammogram, Carolyn gave me Psalm 46:10 (Be still, and know that I am God). This is a verse that I've always have trouble relating to. I'm a doer, not a be still-er! Once again, I found the answer at the edge of the Red Sea. As God was pouring out blessings both ahead and behind him, Mikhof had the choice to pay attention to them or whine about his sandals. He chose to whine! I don't want to be a whining Mikhof! So I've re-written Psalm 46:10 to read: "Stop complaining and let me bless you!" I've discovered that when you prepare to be blessed by God, he always obliges.
In place of complaints, I sing praise songs every where I go. I not only sing in the shower, I sing in the car, I hum at the library, and I dance while I get ready for my radiation treatment. At home I sing anytime I get up and move. From the couch to the refrigerator, from the bed to the bathroom. I even sing going out to get the mail. I'm fairly sure that my neighbors think I'm a nut, but I don't care.
I also choose to remember God's blessings by keeping a gratitude journal. If I can't write down at least 5 great blessings that have brightened my day, then I am surely not ready for bed yet!
Finally, I tell people what the Lord is doing in my life. I tell that that I am excited, happy, and full of joy. I tell them that God is good!
